Stayin' Alive...

(Doo, doo, doo! Ok. The Bees Gees?? Who thought of that? Hm.)
Hello Blog,

It's been a while, hasn't it?

I kept promising to come back and document all the adventures I've had at college thus far.
I had planned to write about Torrientation, and about locking myself out of my room on my first night.
I thought about introducing you to my dear bike, Shrimpy Prawn, and comparing my very first twelve-mile ride with Dante's journey into Hell. (It's getting better, I promise you. I think I'm climbing Mount Purgatory right now....)
I was going to show you pictures of my room, my bicycle, the trees on campus, and so forth, and tell you all about the strange things served in the Caf.

But I never did.

You know why?

Two Words: Music Performance.
Actually, more like seven words: I'm changing my major to Music Performance.

Am I crazy? Aren't there posts saved somewhere on this blog about how I decided to take a long hiatus from violin? Am I not the girl who hates performing and never practiced for more than an hour a day for the past twelve years? (And even that hour was like pulling teeth.)

Yes. Yes. Yes, and Yes.

I suppose it's natural to ask what changed. And I suppose I would have to reply that I don't entirely know. But I'm most definitely in the process of finding out, and when I do, you'll get to read all about it.

For the meanwhile, please keep me (and all other college kinfolk/chumlets) in your prayers, if you would be so kind. I think we're all reaching the time in the semester where we are undergoing the death, or darkness, that precedes the dawn. Three hours of practice never feels like enough. Rehearsing, writing, revising, reading, re-reading, etc. Nothing feels like "enough", whatever that "enough" is, and I am being confronted with my finiteness. Oh, I am so very human. I am not even immortal like the Greek gods described by Homer. I am mortal. I am an "eater of bread", and I need sustenance and sleep. More importantly, I need to learn how care for my soul as I struggle to become a whole soul.
It is frustrating, and I feel like I am a very dead seed that will never sprout. But maybe the only thing to do right now is to acknowledge all the frustration, discouragement, and fear that I feel. I'm scared about Don Rags, and I'm even more scared about juries. I am weary, and the thought of four or five more years of this makes me feel even wearier.

But I musn't grow gloomy. As the weather grows frigid and the trees lose all their leaves, all of creation hopes for the coming of Spring. I, too, shall hope for Spring. (I certainly hope for the warmth of Spring when I'm saying hullo to the bitterly cold air during my morning rides.) Yet I also must work on enjoying winter, and maybe even enjoying the process of "dying". I don't know whether death in itself is a good thing, but I am realizing how much I need grace, and how very little I am willing to accept grace.

All shall be most well. Four weeks until finals. We shall all take it one day at a time, right?
(How very cliché...Oh. Arg. Frustration again.)

I really do want to introduce you all to Shrimpy Prawn sometime....Maybe over the Thanksgiving Holiday.

I miss you all!

To My Neighborhood Trader Joe's

Dear Trader Joe's,

Why are you so awesome?
It probably has to do with the fact that you sell me a bag of baby-spinach for $1.99 every week. Or maybe because I can find a quart of milk for a dollar? Or perhaps it's because you now stock both regular-rummy-vanilla and chocolate Canneles de Bordeaux?

(And who can forget the yogurt and hummus selections? There are just enough options to render me quite "Hamlet".)

Your array of chicken broth always makes my heart sing. (Actually, it makes me sing. And then I get stared at. And then I desperately attempt to look like I have just sneezed an incredible song-like sneeze. Yes, it would be very incredible.) Low-Sodium? Check. Organic and Gluten-free? Check, check. The-Regular-Discreetly-Named-WITH-SODIUM--style? Check, check, check!

And then there's your chocolate section......Let's not go there. Too much goodness in one aisle!

Oh and the cheese!
One of your very friendly employees introduced me to Saint André today and I think I have fallen quite madly in love. Who could resist such a wonderful triple-cream? (Actually, I was a bit skeptical when I first tasted it; but then I discovered that it is very similar to Brie, the god of all soft cheeses, and that made it quite all right.) Saint André triple-cream is taller than a Brie and has a very fun consistency: crumbly towards the middle and more spreadably soft nearer to the outer skin. (Perfect for those who enjoy the texture of goat cheese but not the flavor. Though I suppose I should learn to like the flavor of goat cheese...) It is an exceedingly rich cheese (75% milkfat?) that tastes oh-so-buttery and the tiniest bit tangy.
Mmm.
Trader Joe's, thank you for selling Saint Andrés triple-cream.
We enjoyed it with our Hobbity-supper this evening. (Crispy fried potato-bacon-thyme patties, anyone? Oh, and some of that spinach.)

Yes, Trader Joe's, I will admit that I often seek relief from end-of-the-term-stress by perusing your shelves and air-violining to whatever classical piece you have playing. (Great choice in music, by the way. Especially on a Saturday morning.) I probably frighten your Hawaiian-shirt-clad employees even though they are kind enough not to mention it.
Send them all a box of Joe's O's. (And a dollar to buy the accompanying milk.)

I will be seeing you again soon.
Very soon.

With much love,
-Miss P. McGillies

"So long, farewell..."

As of last Sunday, I have officially started my not-sure-how-long hiatus from playing the violin. (It's not exactly official...I suppose it's simply "decided"? Decided and put into practice?) As much as it feels rather sad stopping something I have done for so long, the relief I feel from not having to worry about violin and practicing seems to outweigh all else--for now at least. I haven't stopped playing violin for good, though, and I hope to play a bit every week or so to keep my fingers from getting too stiff and forgetful. In the meantime, I shall try to focus more on piano.
Liszt.
Lissssszzzt!
I am very, very excited!
There shall be much finger dexterity training this summer. March, little soldiers, march!
I suppose they must also learn to march lightly? Is that even possible? Perhaps they fly!
Wheee! (glissando...buuuurrrrrrrrriiinggg!)
Or if it is done badly (from personal experience): *bumpbumpbump"ouchouch"bumpbump"ouch"bump"ouch!"bumpbumpbink!"

Hehe.
Speaking of summer, I will also be bridesmaiding as a little yellow buttercup in my friend's wedding this June. Hopefully, sister and I will spend two or so weeks in beautiful NM to take part in the festivities, visit old friends, and breathe the wonderful, clean air of the desert. It is the desert with piercingly blue skies and the yummiest chocolate cake. :-) If ever you visit Santa Fe, make sure to stop by the Chocolate Maven and try their chocolate cake. It is dense and moist, and oh so very chocolate-y. Sometimes they serve it up with dollops of chantilly cream and it's almost a bit like heaven. (Perhaps? Can food taste divine? Well, it's delicious and marvelous combination of flavours and textures, whatever it is.)

I'm also plotting to journey up North with family in July to obtain some pot de creme pots (sans creme, since I will most likely eat before I take them home) from Miette. I'm quite enchanted by their jolly little pot de creme pots...Hopefully they will still be making them from glass by the time I visit.

Enough of silly Goosie's summer plans! Time for bed and a bit of resting before the SAT this weekend.
I shall be glad when it is over..
Have a good weekend!

Yesss!

After a whole year of squeaking through the first movement of Bruch's violin concerto, I finally had an "Ah-HA!" moment this afternoon and the piece came together for the very first time. I am not entirely sure what made it "come together", or what I mean by "come together", since I most certainly did not play it perfectly. Perhaps it was easier to play? Maybe I could concentrate less on trying to hit the notes and more on expressing them? While I was (miraculously) charging through the double stops, I kept thinking to myself: "This is Bruch! This is music! This makes me feel funny inside!"
...

And then I broke two bow-hairs.

:-P

It was very exciting.
All of it! (Bow-hair breakage included)
So that leaves me wondering: What does it mean to play music? What causes that moment of "Ah-HA!" ?

Hmmm.
And what is the Divine and Supernatural Light, eh?